If you’re a Type 2, the Helper/Giver of the Enneagram, you don’t need a personality system to know that your attention gravitates towards the needs of others. Relationship-based with high emotional intelligence, you have a gift for connecting with others, and difficult or emotionally distant people are your speciality. You truly care about other people, and this genuine concern helps you win the hearts and minds of friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family members.
But while you can win others over, without high self-mastery, it is easy for you to have weak personal boundaries, overextend yourself in your efforts to help those around you, and constantly put yourself at the back of the line when it comes to getting your own needs met. The word “no” rarely crosses your lips, and your drive to make other people happy can be relentless and cloud your thinking.
All of this subservience can build up leaving you tired, drained, disconnected, and frustrated. But because you are gifted at repression, the rest of us don’t see how overextended you have become. You are more fragile than we realize, but you aren’t fragile like a flower. You are fragile like a bomb. And when you explode, it isn’t pretty. We see rage, tears, breakdowns, or sometimes stonewalling with the silent treatment. The explosion leaves you exposed and us confused. Everyone feels hurt.